EarShatter

There was once a Yuppie who had become one of the bigwigs in the local financial industry. Barely five years after graduating and full of energy, was he blessed with the body of a tall and strong athlete, a square manly face with piercing eyes and all the success in almost everything which he had invested his time in to. What he lacked in experience in his field was always compensated by his physical attributes.  His usual prospects were matured women at the early dusk of their lives, sometimes a widow, oftentimes separated from their husbands. He would always lure them to signing up by using his skills in seducing women and his famously huge penis that –more often than not– everything boils down into a raunchy yet sometimes tender sex, or whatever the madam requested. Cougars may be the better term nowadays and he may be the budding cub, but definitely not the prey. 

And with every success, money easily flowed in.  There was nothing to stop him. The Yuppie had as much appetite in working harder each day as to gorging himself in a feast of sexual pleasure almost each night. Who could blame him? He was a bachelor without any commitments, as free as a proud lion patiently waiting for his next prey. One time, he even had the chance to have four beautiful young women in his pad. They did not know each other but only he knew at least of their names, for they all came up to him expressing their interest to experience his adroitness in bed and his huge dick. He would often use this episode as a joke among his peers. “There were so many limbs protruding in the dark, the Hindus were praying at us!” he often quipped. 

After working hours, he would usually head for cavorting watering holes. He would always have the best seat inside for he had become friends with the owners. But he did not usually stay for long, because within an hour, a waiter would approach him with a drink bought by some lady or ladies from the other table. This was always the sign for him to size up the generous buyers and if all things were okay, he would take them to his bed and harvest their willing and blooming flesh. But for all of these luxuries and pleasure, he still felt something was missing…something he had not achieved. 

It began one night when he was teaching some girl he met in the club one of the hardest phases of female adolescence. She was still tight and her teeth often scraped around his manhood, but she was not difficult for him to conquer. After close to an hour of teaching the art of making love, he became proud of her as she gradually forgot about the searing pain between her thighs and started working her way up and down faster every second to both their satisfaction. After this, she kissed him fervently and uttered, “Thanks, Kuya, now I can teach my boyfriend.”             

And so he found himself one typical evening in one of those places. The booze was overflowing, there were many gorgeous ladies frolicking and at least three of them made the first move. But he did not wish to stay for any longer –try as he might– for the unexplained void inside of him was constantly eating up his mind and soul. Then just as he formally decided to call it a night, he saw her at a distance.    

The very glance at her made him stare and probe at the divine sight for more details. Her hair, black as the innocent night, was waist-long. He couldn’t see her face from where he sat so he stood up and clambered up at another bar stool, his eyes still transfixed on her. And he was not disappointed. Unlike the other women he penetrated before, she had the face of an innocent, wingless angel brought down from the heavens; her skin as white as the clouds from where she must have come from. He felt a familiar warmth between his legs as he gazed down further into her fine breasts that were half concealed and were creating a deep vertical chasm in the middle. He instantly imagined himself lost in that chasm as he sought her hidden treasures with his tongue. Finally, her overall black sleeveless dress fell just above her knees, revealing a pair of slender, ivory legs. And between those legs, he knew he would find the most precious pearl.  For the first time for so long, he felt more than the urge to conquer another woman’s body. And so just as he decided to call it a night, he was enamored of her.            

Situations like this usually wrapped up shortly and favorably for him. He would prowl around the prey while looking at it with all malice and lust his eyes could muster. One stare and the willing victim would give back a smile and a slight but evident blush. He would then intentionally walk towards the lady and would accidentally let his shoulders touch the supple breasts lightly or if it was a crowded bar, his front against her back. But it seemed that he forgot all what experience had taught him. He –one of whom Adam would have been very proud of among his race– suddenly became a little boy thirsty for milk instead of nipples.            

Nevertheless, one thing was clear on his mind: he would have her tonight.       

An old flame of excitement and adventure was rekindled inside of him. Glasses of martinis made it burned bigger and he started strategizing how to get her attention. He knew she saw him staring at her with his usual grin and intense eyes but she seemed to ignore him, just like the rest of the men. He also noticed that she was alone and looked very close to be bored amidst the pounding beat of the music, just contented of sipping her drink from a straw he imagined as his penis as she stroke it along its length. But enough about the visions! The fact that he had been denied made his ego grow bigger like a fiercer warrior after a limb had been cut off. Now he was more determined to have and fuck her…and know her better afterwards, this time around.             

Should he approach and rub himself against her like a crazy animal marking a territory? No, there was a prerequisite to do that and the lady did not eat the bait. There was one way he wished he did not resort into doing though –for he was too proud to do so–  but thought it may just work well to get the end that he wanted. Besides, it cost only a few hundred bucks.           He observed as the waiter approached her with a glass of margarita. Her lovely face proved to be slightly startled but immediately understood the situation. The waiter pointed at the Yuppie’s direction and left while the lady in the black dress with the waist-long hair, angelic face, supple, half exposed white breasts and ivory legs with the most precious white pearl between them turned at his direction only with a blank face, the margarita untouched in front of her.            

There was a brief awkward moment as their eyes met–  him, with a smile across his face and her, with an unresponsive countenance. At last she broke the connection but not to his relieve when he saw her stood up and made her way into the middle of the dancing crowd. Just as she vanished, he got up to his feet as well, much more unwavering than ever to talk to her.              

He followed her past the crowd to the back of the other bar where some women waited in line for their turn to piss. He was directly behind her now, clearing his throat but unsure of what to say when suddenly she turned around, grabbed his softening crotch and french-kissed him. There were kinky laughs and hushed whistles along the aisle but the two did not seem to mind, especially him, as his penis started to grow back what with all the caresses of the angel’s hand. She spoke to him. “I don’t drink margarita. But I can have you”.            

They kissed intensely in front of his condominium door, impatient to arrive at his bed. As he pushed the key inside the hole, his other hand proved futile to cover her huge, supple breasts. His fingers playfully squeezed her nipples though, while she felt his stiffness inside which was already wet with her saliva when they drove home. As they approached the room, he recollected his thoughts about the women he had encountered before. He was sure this was going to be the best. He smiled at the thought that he may have well met his match. His grin turned suddenly into an expression of surprised pleasure and all that he could utter was the most important vowel of the night as she started to put his whole manhood inside her mouth. She did that for a couple of minutes much to his bliss and was only cut short when she stood up, took off her clothes, revealing her beautiful vagina and climbed on the bed and said, “Now eat me”. He dutifully followed her orders and he was actually motivated by the fruity scent. His hands supported her butt as she gyrated her waist around his face. He knew he was doing a good job because of the satisfactory expression on her face and moans but she did not utter a single syllable. In fact, she was not a noisy partner at all. In all his adventures in bed, all of his partners screamed of how good he was, and often requested faster and harder and to put it inside me now please, but this flesh in his face seemed to be, enjoying it, yes, but more in control of what it wanted. There was a sudden jolt of her thighs and his mouth received the first gush of her nectar. She received him inside with much warmth. He was in nirvana and their mouths found each other once again as he pushed himself inside her, harder and faster every minute as he felt his impending explosion. As he neared his climax, he could not control himself anymore and uttered the most dreadful words.            

“The fuck, you love me? What’s that about?”, she said as she pulled herself away from him. His penis still spewed wads of semen on his stomach and he could not believe of what he just said more than her reaction.

“You’re fucked up, I’m going.”

The cunt left. He wiped himself clean and lit a cigarette. His wood was now gone but he realized that an angel left a bigger hole in his soul.                                                               

(first published in The UST Commerce Journal Magazine 2006)

Standard Chartered Bank, 8 a.m.

Three hundred sixty-seven pesos and fifty-five centavos. The figures flashed before my face against the blue screen of the ATM, and it spelled to me that I would not have a few decent days to live by. So much for budgeting, I mumbled, as I took my card back in my wallet. Three hundred sixty seven and fifty five cents! If I needed to survive the next few days before the 28^th, I had to stretch those three digits and two decimal places up to its maximum value. I meant to withdraw some money but thought otherwise. Besides, I still had enough in my pocket to spend. I stepped out of the bank sighing, but not losing hope. It had been a long day and I needed some rest. So I started walking towards the tunnel, to the other side of the road, wearing my usual sneakers, jeans and polo shirt – my office attire.

Eight in the morning was sure late – at least for me. Working on a night shift really had changed a lot in me, especially when I saw the people in blazers and long sleeves with neckties and suitcases, “busy as a bee”, and walking ninety kilometers per hour (like asteroids that never collide) to beat the clock and heavy traffic. Had I experienced this just after I graduated, I would put up a bitter smile with my face looking at the pavement as I walk the along the hot and dry Ayala Avenue. It was my childhood dream, you see – to be able to wear business attires, probably Armani suits with a nice convertible car for a ride.

It has been more than a year now since I graduated from UST and still, I do not have a single Armani suit, and not even a unicycle as my “cool” ride. Instead, I wear civilian clothes while taking jeepney rides to and fro my work. All the things that I imagine to be doing while in that classy suit are totally different from what I am doing now. I do not shout “Sell!” or “Buy!” in my job. I am not also made to conceptualize for the next hit commercial or novel product. Instead, I have struggled my way to get a job in one of my preferred companies with decent pay for fresh grads. I work in a fixed ten in the evening till six in the morning shift; reading company press releases and squeezing my brains oftentimes to analyze the things you still would not understand as a student (try as I may to explain).

It came to me that the “real world” has welcomed me with a kick in the stomach and a slap across the face. But I do not whine anymore about my career (or life for that matter). Instead, I just smile and say “thank you”.

I bet all of us have an ambition – a vision of what we would like to be in the future. Mine was deeper than wearing an Armani. It is just a representation of the status it connotes to having to wear one, like power, high skills and success. But ambition is more than just a dream; it is a carefully planned one. That is why at some point in our lives, we go to college, choose a major and learn something on which we can be called successful on in the future. I guess if we only live in a “ceteris paribus” world, things will be easier. We study hard, we succeed. We study harder, succeed even more!

Sad to say, but we live in a place that is full of probability, consequences and unfairness. Things here cannot be solved by a simple one plus one, or by finding the variables for X and Y. Most times, there is no formula for a straight line. Most times, we struggle so hard but just fail without even grace. This can be further summarized as the law of the real world in three words: DEAL WITH IT.

But take heart, because not all things are bad when you are on your own. Yes, there may be things that we might not have or achieve, but it should not keep us from hoping that someday, somehow that “we can”. Ate Jenny, my former Editor-in-Chief, said in one of her articles that life throws us many pairs of shoes to try on. I agree. And also, it might be quite disappointing to learn that the “shoe” we desire do not fit us, but maybe we should just realize that perhaps in due time, we will grow just for it. Better yet, we will outgrow it and we can now fit in to a bigger “pair”. All it takes is patience, determination and faith in God and our capabilities.

I may not be trading stocks and commodities or drafting a SWOT analysis of a company or product, but I still do my work with diligence, commitment and best efforts – as if I am in my Armani. I have come to love the terms of it, and how it sometimes makes me want to split my head apart. For now, I realize that I have to prove to myself that I can do the things I am tasked to do, to prepare myself for the bigger things that will come my way. Do not dream more than we can actually do because we cannot reach greater heights without first stretching our limits. Remember: People will judge you by your work and not by your words alone. So do not be discouraged if you do not have a CPA, ENGR. ATTY. and other titles on either side of your name. It does not automatically mean that we will succeed in life if we have one. More importantly, that does not mean you are lesser of a person, and them, superior, for learning does not stop after college (and I am not talking about graduate studies specifically). You may even learn a lot of valuable things only you can teach to yourself.

As for me, the numbers under my name may increase into millions or decrease into zit. I may or may not wear an actual suit, and I might be a commuter forever. But they do not matter as of the moment. For as long as I do the right things, the chances of achieving my dreams in this non-ceteris paribus world have just increased, thanks to my Armani attitude.

Chuy ang palayaw ko. Bunso ako dati sa magkakapatid kaya naging bunsuy, na naging Unsoy na pinabango ko lang nung college kaya’t ako’y naging Chuy. Ang totoong Chuy ay si Renante Nudo, kaklase ko noong elementary. Pasensya na lang sa kanya at hindi niya naipa-patent ang palayaw niya. Hindi niya rin alam hanggang ngayon na ginamit ko ang palayaw niya. Belat. Karamihan sa atin ay may palayaw. Si Michael ay nagiging Mike. Si Isabella ay nagiging Isay at si Renato, dahil napakatandang pakinggan ng kanyang pangalan, ay nagiging Nate (ayaw niya ng Nato, yuckie!!). Dito sa looban, hindi batid ng karamihan ang tunay na pangalan ng isa’t-isa. Madalas ay nalalaman lang namin ang tunay na pangalan, kunwari ay ni Mang Kardo, ‘pag natigok na siya. Mababasa ko na lang sa isang malapad na ribbon na naka-pin sa itim na trapal ang isang “Enrico Ricardo Fernandez” at ang lugar na kanyang pinagbuburulan. Wala pala kaming Mang Kardo dito, pero at least nakuha mo ang ibig kong sabihin. Pero sige, eto: may pinsan akong namatay, tawag sa kanya dito ay Enteng. Real name: Vincent.Ang mga sumusunod ay ilan lamang sa palayaw ng aking kapit-bahay, kasama na ang kanilang katangian.

1. Codename Mang Texas: Matagal na itong character sa aming looban, pero hanggang ngayon e hindi ko pa rin mapinpoint kung sino siya. basta legendary itong si Mang
Texas at lagi ko na lang naririnig dati na pinaguusapan ng mga tatay ko si Mang Texas.

2. Codename Itik: Si Mang Vic, tatay ni Ton-ton Noo. Hindi ko alam kung bakit Mang Itik ang tawag sa kanya. May myth dati na mahilig siya sa pagkain ng itik, pero hindi ako naniniwala. Hindi naman siya mukhang itik. Ah ewan.

3. Mel Paa: matangkad si Mang Mel Paa. Paa ang shorter version ng nickname niya. Ang cute no? bagay siyang mag-kristo sa mga senakulo kasi long hair rin itong si Paa. Malakas rin ang sense of humor. Jesus Christ with a punchline, astig! Siya rin pala ang takbuhan ng mga tao kapag problemang kuryente na ang pag-uusapan. Magaling siyang magkabit ng kuntador, magkumpuni ng linya ng kuryente pag alis ng meralco at uminom. One of the loyal friends ng tatay ko, if I may add.

4. Boy Paos: Patay na si Mang Boy Paos, pero hindi ko pa rin malilimutan ang kanyang ginintuang boses. Boy Paos ang tawag namin sa kanya kasi, uhm…paos siya magsalita. Hindi ko alam kung hereditary yun, pero hindi na bumalik sa normal ang boses niya. Malamang nga na iyon na ang normal na boses niya. Naalala ko dati, nalimutan kong wala palang brake ang bike ko. Tapos pagliko ko eh nandun si Paos at nasalpok ko, head on collision. Hindi siya makasigaw kasi Paos nga siya. Hehe, I like that guy.

5. Bogart: hindi ito ang tunay na pangalan ni bogart at misteryo pa rin kung ano talaga ang birthname niya. Mula pagkabata eh hindi ko na nakitang may suot na kamiseta itong si mang bogart. Laging siyang hubad sa pang-itaas at ibinibilad ang kanyang sandamakmak na tato sa katawan. May tato rin pala siya ng mga naging babae sa buhay niya, with matching replica ng mga mukha nila. I must say magaling ang taste niya sa babae. Si aling Brenda na kanyang balo eh nandun rin, siya ung nasa bandang puso. How sweat!!!

6. Pepay: hindi kikay si Mang Pepay at siya ay isang mama, napaka-ironic sa kanyang kikay na pangalan. Malaking mama si Pepay, at may gintong cast ang kanyang isang ngipin sa kaliwa. Laging malinis sa katawan itong si Mang Pepay. Mukha pa siyang suplado, pero mabait naman kapag nakahututan dila mo na. last na update ko sa kanya e hiwalay na sila ng asawa niya at may kinakasama na siyang iba. Tsk tsk tsk…

7. Boy Bulag: Siya ang asawa ni Jenny, ang object ng mga “baho” jokes ng mga bata sa amin. Well, you guessed it right! Bulag si Boy, thus the nickname. Masigasig sa buhay itong si Bulag. Kahit maralita at hindi nakapagtapos, sa malinis na paraan pa rin niya kinukuha ang perang pang-tongits ng asawa niya at pagkain ng mga anak niya. Last update ko eh kinuha siyang janitor ng elementary school ko dati.

8. Dyablo: tito ko si Dyablo or Uncle Dyab sa aming magpipinsan. Hindi kami close nitong si Uncle Dyab pero wala naman kaming masamang tinapay sa isa’t-isa. Bihira na siya pumunta sa compound namin, pero nung dating madalas eh paborito niyang gawin ang tumae sa kahit saang bahay ng mga kapatid niya. Ang asawa niya ngayon ay kanyang ginapang dati. Bente taon mahigit ang agwat nila. He’s my man!! May sipa pa si Uncle Dyab. At may asim pa (literally) 9. Puso: isa sa mga kababata ko itong si Puso. Edward ang tunay na pangalan niya. Puso kasi isa siyang blue baby o ung mga taong may butas sa puso.
Para siyang anak ni mr. shooli kasi singkit at mukhang laging basag sa droga kung magsalita. Nakakatuwang bata itong si Puso kasi off-beat ang sense of humor, kaya astig siya. Namatay na pala si Puso. Guess why? 

10. Joy Bukol: isa rin si Joy sa mga kababata ko, although mas bata siya sa akin. Nung bata pa ako’t may uhog sa ilong, si Joy ang favorite na tampulan ng tukso ng mga bata, lalung lalo na ni Ricking anak ni Aling Martina. Galit na galit si Joy sa tuwing sinasabihan siyang Bukol! Bukol! Bukol! Hindi naman lampayatot si Bukol. Lampa lang tlaga ito dati at laging nadadapa nang mag-isa, nauuntog sa mga bahay-bahayan at buro sa tumbang preso.

11. Jun Payat: pinsan ng tatay ko si Tito Jun Payat. Matangkad na tao rin ito, mas matangakad pa kay Paa. Lahat ng mga anak niya eh nagmana sa height ng tatay nila. Matangkad man, sobrang payat naman niya. Isa siyang perfect example ng stick man. Mahilig rin palang maggitara si tito jun. un lang.

12. Boy Bicol: hehe, secret lang natin itow. Si mang boy bicol eh kalapit-bahay lang namin, kahit taga-bicol siya. nasa itaas ng gripo namin sa labas ang bintana ni mang boy bicol. Isang hapon na maghuhugas ako ng bigas para isaing, may narinig akong mga impit na iyak mula sa bintanang un. Tumuntong ako sa gripo at sumilip. Laking gulat ko nang makita kong inaararo ng halik ni mang Bicol ang kasama nila sa bahay ng asawa niya!!! Dose anyos ako nun kaya medyo alam kong hindi lang isang klase ng laro ang ginagawa nila. After how many years ko na lang nalaman na pamangkin pala iyon ng kanyang asawa. Hiwalay na si Mang Boy Bicol at yung asawa niya. Nagasasama na ngayon si Mang Boy Bicol at kanyang pamangakin este bagong asawa.

13. Neneng Tiwang: kahit na ganito ang tawag ng ilan sa tita ko (pinsan ng tatay ko) eh may paggalang ako kay Ate Ne…neeeng tiwang Dati nung bata ako eh takot ako sa kanya kasi nga ang pangalan niya eh tiwang meaning: baliw o sira ang ulo. Ngayong sira-ulo na rin ako’y nagkakaintindihan na kami.

14. Ton-ton Noo: si ton-ton noo ang pinakasikat na bata sa amin dati. Paano ba nman, after weeks na nawala siya, natagpuan si Ton-ton sa kung saang lupalop ng Pilipinas at dinala sa studio ni ate luds. Eye to eye man!!! Instant celebrity si Ton-Ton at nanay niya nung pinakita sila sa channel seven, dun sa lost and found portion ng eye to eye. Uhm, malaki pa rin hanggang ngayon ang noo ni ton-ton na parang may sariling buhay.

15. Nineng Muta: asar na asar ako sa kapatid ko dati kapag tinutukso ako kay Nineng Muta. Bakit? Ang tantalizing kasi ng mga mata ni Nine. Kumikinang kasi sa sikat ng araw ang kanyang mina ng mga muta sa mata. Hardcore man! Kung may nakapasok sigurong buhangin sa mata ni nine, ngayon eh perlas na ito.            Palayaw man o tunay na pangalan, kilala namin ang isa’t-isa bilang kapit-bahay, noon man o hanggang sa ngayon. Sana lang ay laging may nakapaskil na itim na trapal sa bukana ng aming looban, para malaman namin kung sino si Francisco Alejandro Santibañez ‘Y Zaragoza – Si Boy Bote ba ‘to o si Dodong Tulak (ng shabu)

Matagal-tagal na rin bago ko harapin ulit ang nagbblink na cursor ng computer. Ngayong may sarili na akong computer sa bahay eh wala na akong dahilan upang mag-inarte sa hindi pagsusulat ng blog. Haharapin ko na ang isang katotohanan sa buhay ko: na mapurol na ang isip ko sa pagsusulat. Kaya sana ay pagpasensyahan mo ang mga una kong isusulat dito, baka hindi mo trip. Eto na, magbblag na ako…